dirty rotten scoundrels

1. There’s something about tanks that people seem to love. Either it’s their glamorous movie roles or their crucial strategic importance in battle zones; a lot of people hold a special place in their hearts for these thundering metallic beasts. Ever fancied driving and firing one for real? If you know the right places to go on the internet, you can make that dream a reality although I imagine the car insurance would be pretty steep! It’s possible to buy rides in actual Russian T-34/85 and T-72 tanks, as well other varieties of tank, and explode away until your heart’s content! One place you could get this opportunity was formerly available from TankRide, however the website is now unfortunately not working.

2. The childish part of us will always love theme park rides. Either classics like the hall of mirrors, or the more thrilling rides such as the roller coasters and log flumes. These can also be bought online, although maybe not on your credit card with your average roller coaster costing $840,000 and upwards, they’re no cheap thing. But imagine owning your very own roller coaster in your back yard? I imagine the neighbors would be pretty jealous. Or furious.

3. On one of my various journeys across the internet, I came across an auction for just a photograph of an empty condom packet and the underwear of someone that was apparently having an affair with the seller’s husband. The story is that she found the packet and the underwear in their bedroom and pretty soon, the husband was an ex-husband. EBay however, did not allow the sale of the actual items, so the seller is now offering a photo of said items as the lot. Check it out- click here.

4. The Lunar Registry, claiming to be “Earth’s leading lunar real estate agency” offers – you guessed it – real estate on the Moon! A small slice of life on the Moon can be yours and it will not require a mortgage as you can buy for as little as $18.95-$37.50 per acre of land, depending on which area you’re buying in, as some are more desirable than others, with the “Sea of Tranquility” area being “the Moon’s most prestigious location”. I’d love to brag to my friends about being a Lunar Landlord!

5. Always on the lookout for interesting garden features (aren’t we all?), I couldn’t help but share this amazing find, as I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at it. From Design Toscano, providers of unusual garden/home decorations, this odd zombie sculpture is sure to replace – or at least frighten away – any of the more normal-looking gnomes. Selling for $89.95, that’s $90 of pure garden terror!

6. We’ve all heard of being able to fly a fighter jet or drive a racing car for a day, but TheBlueFish has a package that combines a whole bunch of exhilarating elements like this into one package! Calling it the James Bond package, it allows you spend a week in the super spy’s fictional shoes, visiting the real world locations that he’s been to, including Moscow and the Kremlin! You’ll also be able to take part in spy-based things such flying a military jet, and you’ll get the opportunity to receive private driving lessons from a formula 1 racing driver, amongst the many activities on offer. Be Bond for a week, with prices starting at an adventurous $75,000 per person on the experience.

7. Amazon.com is not without its fair share of weirdness as well, as these next 3 positions demonstrate, and now it’s actually quite possible to buy wolf urine there. It’s a well-documented fact that wolves will spray areas of land with their own urine to mark their territory and ward off would-be intruders, so now you can do it for them! This wolf urine is made available for you to buy (for only $31) in order to hopefully deter unwanted animals from straying onto your property.

8. Our next offering from the net has the horrific title of “Liquid Ass Fart Spray”, quite what “liquid ass” is, I hope I never find out. The spray is a bargain at just under $5, although not being an expert in the realm of fart spray prices; I’m unable to tell you how competitive this pricing really is. The item description claims that only a third of the small bottle is enough to rid an entire house of its occupants because “the stink will be so bad”. Try it for yourself!

9. For all you budding mad scientists and world-dominating overlords, now’s your chance! Amazon is selling small samples of radioactive uranium ore! What you’d want to do with it is anyone’s guess, but the description says it can be used for testing Geiger counters. I imagine the customs charges will be pretty crazy on something like that!

10. I thought the cream of the crop had to be these corpses, so I saved the best until last. Yes, corpses. Fortunately, they’re not real, but carefully constructed to high levels of realism and detail from liquid latex. You too can now own a finely-crafted and disgusting-looking corpse from Di Stefano Productions for around $545 for males and $595 for females. You’ll even get to choose the skin color, hair color, and what the creator calls the “degree of decay”. Not a suitable wedding gift, I’m sure!