dirty rotten scoundrels

“Our 3 year old is the only member of the family who can bathe our pet python, it made sense for him to be in the bath at the time of the accident.”

“At the time, I thought it was real, I guess it explains why it was so calm when the straps broke.”

“You would never understand, it’s not just a physical thing, she’s got a great personality. But she does bite sometimes.”

” I just wanted to get to know him better, I didn’t think it would end in losing a large area of skin.”

“I never realised he would be able to buy real bullets. After he took out the postman his gun jammed.”

“We always thought she was just big boned.”

“Toby always likes to ride in the car, and yes it was a problem when he had uncontrollable diarrhoea.”

“I had been on the go all day and needed a little snack, no I did not have time to take its collar off.”

“We did manage to give poor Ralphy a decent burial in the Pet Cemetery, but we were denied an open casket. I fully intend to sue the chair manufacturer and claim on my pet insurance.”