dirty rotten scoundrels

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Car insurance, phone insurance, home insurance, pet insurance and even body part insurance, we’ve all been there and done it. Everyone has something insured just in case the worst should happen and it breaks, gets damaged or is stolen. Even if you don’t have any of the above insured you could probably see the value of having at least one of those insurance policies in your arsenal.

Some people do understand the value of insurance but take it one step too far. In the cases below though these people have taken it a million steps too far! Welcome to the world of the weirdest things ever insured! In reverse order….

10 – Little Green Man Syndrome!

Watching X Files must have really disturbed some people because the little green men roll in at 10! There is a grand total of 20,000 plus insurance policies in force to protect people against alien abduction. If you happen to be kidnapped by aliens then you can rest assured that an insurance company would be waiting by the phone, ready to pay out your $1.5 million!

9 – Mr Jeffries’s Ears!

Mr Jeffries’ ears are really important to him. AT 12.5 inches long, they’re his pride and joy. He’d never be the same without them and the modelling work would just go up in smoke! What I’ve yet to tell you is Mr Jeffries is a Bassett hound! A $60,000 insurance policy for a dog’s ears! If you think you’ve heard everything now then just read on… it gets worse!

8 – Ho Ho How Much?

Trying to insure Santa must come in the top 10 weirdest things insured list but plenty of UK councils tried to do it in 2007. Health and safety laws prevented Santa parading through towns and villages all over the country but the old man was apparently a liability and was likely to hurt himself so the insurance scrooges said no! I wonder what they’d think of Rudolph!

7 – The Bobbit

Apparently, 4500 men are so worried about their wives chopping their manhood off that they’re taken out insurance policies to protect their assets! Just $150 a year will net them $1.5 million if the worst should happen! A word to the wise guys – if you think your wife might be tempted to take a carving knife to your penis then either stop cheating or divorce her and run away as fast as humanly possible!

6 – Soccer Blues!

We’ve all been there – you go to the game, your favorite team loses, you go home dejected and depressed and then get over it! A few beers usually does the trick, but not for a bunch of Scottish soccer fans. They’ve insured their mental health for £1 million just in case England wins the World Cup! Being traumatised for the rest of the night is one thing but insurance for mental anguish? Come on guys, did you not see England play in the last tournament? It’s never going to happen!

5 – Musical Vegetables!

One of the most bizarre applications for an insurance policy came from a man that owned a special guitar. That’s not strange in itself but the material it was made of was anything but normal. After all, it’s not every day you see a guitar made out of pumpkin! The insurers surprisingly declined his application and his subsequent claim for it on his home insurance when, shock horror, it began to rot!

4 – Beware Of The Nessie!

In 2005, athletes scrambled to insure themselves when they took part in a triathlon. That, in itself, isn’t unusual, but the nature of the policy most definitely was. The swimming leg of the competition was in Loch Ness and the athletes wanted protection should Nessie try to bite them! The insurance company must have been laughing when they underwrote the policy. They didn’t have to pay out on one of them!

3 – Fishing For Gold!

And the most bizarre item of jewellery ever insured goes to… a gold, platinum, diamond and ruby fishing lure! Yes you read that right! The Million Dollar Lure is designed to help you catch fish and is apparently very effective but it’s also priceless so the insurance is in place to protect it. The question is, who would be stupid enough and wealthy enough to actually use one when fishing?

2 – Simple Pleasures

A cigar enthusiast in North Carolina invested in some extremely expensive cigars and wanted to insure them. Investing in cigars is a little unorthodox in itself, but what the policy actually insured the cigars against took the biscuit! They were insured against fire! The story doesn’t end there though! The man smoked them, claimed on the policy as fire did destroy them, sued the company when they refused to pay out and eventually received the full settlement, only to find himself behind bars the next day on charges of arson! It takes all sorts I guess!

1 – The Hand… Or Something Else… Of God!

And the award for the most bizarre thing ever insured goes to… (drum roll please)… virginity! Three women in their fifties actually insured their virginity, but it wasn’t just any old virginity! No, it was their virginity against the Immaculate Conception! If they somehow miraculously get pregnant then they stand to benefit to the tune of £1 million! The policy has since been cancelled because of the furore made by Catholics that objected to the policy, but there are up to a hundred similar policies in the world at the moment! People are certainly strange!