dirty rotten scoundrels

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We’ve all had months that have been a financial struggle from start to finish. When the bills come rolling in, we all start stressing out and crying as well (in some cases). It’s during those months that we pay the minimums on our credit card or call the banks to explain that we’re struggling and request a week’ s extension. Usually the truth will suffice but there are some people that stray from the righteous path into a weird and wonderful world of fairy tales. Some of the stories they give would definitely be good enough for the Brothers Grimm. Take the 10 reasons below for example!

1. “My dog ate my bill.”
Now this would’ve been a good one if the woman in question hadn’t have claimed it 3 months in a row! The debt collectors found that she didn’t even have a dog when they knocked on her door, although I’d be more worried that she stole the excuse from a school kid and his homework.

2. “I’m officially declaring myself bankrupt for you, right now!”
This intelligent little man really didn’t know what he was talking about when he declared himself bankrupt on the phone to his creditors. Little did he know that there was a little matter of bankruptcy court to go through first to clear his $25,437 debt. Needless to say, his excuse didn’t wash and he soon found himself talking to a bailiff.

3. “I haven’t got any money to pay you. I just bought new boots.”
Taking a leaf out of Rachel from Friends’ book, this 18 year old really hadn’t got a clue when it came to money or to managing debt. What she forgot when she called her creditors to make her excuses was that she had paid for the $369 boots with her credit card. It was the boots that she had to pay off.

4. “I’ve been in a coma for the past few weeks so I haven’t been able to get out to pay the bill.”
This wouldn’t have been as laughable if it were true. As it was, this was just one of the sickest excuses going. The credit cards company may have believed her had she not run up debts of $4967 during the weeks that she was supposedly in a coma… while she was on spring break! After looking at her records, they didn’t buy it for a second.

5. “I was marooned on an island just off the coast that had no banks and no Internet.”
This guy’s next words were *PAUSE* “OK, that’s not true, but if it were would you let me off paying it for a couple of months?”

6. “I didn’t spend that money, my sister did. I’ll give you her address so you can forward the bill on.”
Believe it or not, this was the excuse given by a millionaire whose sister, a single mom, had been forced to stay with her after being evicted from her home. The bill was for $15.34! The credit card company refused and she ruined her credit rating… all for $15.34.

7. “My card must have been stolen and returned to my purse because I’m sure I didn’t spend this much”
Spoken like a true skinflint. This Texan woman had been on vacation in England and spent £43.29 on 3 lunches, which is roughly around $85. Who would steal a card and risk returning it to a purse for $85. Apparently a British tramp would… at least that’s who she blamed when she was subpoenaed for refusing to pay the money off.

8. “I’ll need counselling to get over this bill so you’ll have to wait!”
Yes, a lady actually went to therapy after receiving her $13,029 credit card bill when she returned from Fiji. Like it or not, the credit card company had to wait. They didn’t get their payment, but she did get charged for the lack of payment and went back into therapy the next month. Her holiday to Fiji actually cost her her excellent credit rating and thousands of dollars worth of therapy.

9. “I dropped my credit card off the Staten Island Ferry so I can prove I didn’t run up that bill!”
Yes, this guy actually expected the credit card company to dive off the Staten Island Ferry and retrieve his card to prove it was there to begin with. Of course, he hadn’t spent $16,734 on a new car on his credit card, realised he couldn’t afford the bills and thrown it overboard himself.

10. “My ugly sisters stole my glass slippers so I had to buy some more. If I didn’t then my prince wouldn’t come to get me so that was far more important than paying off my credit card.”
This is the best story I’ve ever heard for not paying a credit card bill. In fact, I just may have used it myself had it not ripped the Brothers Grimm and Disney off completely! Even worse, everyone knows that the existence of Prince Charming was a big fat lie.