dirty rotten scoundrels

Jump to Comments

Since it appeared on our monitor screens sometime in 1995 eBay has been the host to some of the world’s strangest auction items. Nowadays there are thousands of interesting, unique and downright bizarre items going under the electronic hammer at any one time – a cornflake resembling Jesus, an extraterrestrial cadaver, the meaning of life (which sold for £1.26/$2.50), Elvis’s old toilet brush, a wig made from pubic hair, George W Bush’s frontal lobe, a pet rock (no pet insurance needed), your very own jingle – and so on and so forth (I’ll leave it to you to decide which of those I made up). Bemusement is the common reaction upon learning that people actually sell such items; disbelief is usually reserved for the fact that people actually buy them.

Quite regularly such auctions are seized upon by the mainstream media and reported across the globe. Though the majority of these reports come in the form of humorous asies at the end of TV news reports or in What a Crazy World! magazine-filler articles, other eBay auction have spurred serious debates and stoked public interest in important matters. This attention, though usually down to the nature of the item, can also be generated by the intriguing motives or underlying intentions of the seller. These auctions demonstrate that, over the years, eBay has been used for other purposes besides besides making a quick buck – some users have exploited the site for publicity, some for protest, some for personal ends and others, it would seems from the list above, through sheer boredom.

This article examines a few pioneering online purveyors who, for whatever reason, stirred public interest and media controversy by testing the boundaries of just what is deemed saleable in this age of electronic auctions.

For Sale: One Life, Used
Recently, in a widely-reported case, a 44-year-old British ex-patriate, Ian Usher, sold his entire life on eBay. Distraught by the breakdown of his marriage and the subsequent rubbishness of his life in Perth, Australia, Usher decided to make a clean break by selling off everything that he had acquired in his decade and a half’s worth of existence. Not only did this package consist of the expected accumulation of personal possessions such as Usher’s suburban home, Mazda car and jet ski, but also his job as a carpet store sales assistant and an introduction to all of his friends.

Irksomely, hoax bids on this prêt-a-porter life pushed it up as high as £1.06m ($2.12m) at one point; however, the successful bid was the somewhat lower figure of £192,000 ($384,000), of which Usher philosophically said: “I thought it might have gone a bit higher at the end. But I’ve no regrets. What’s done is done, and I’m looking forward to sorting this all out”.

For Sale: One Forehead, A Mobile Advertising Solution
In 2005 American web developer and entrepreneur, Andrew Fischer, became the first person to auction off a body part as advertising space. The month-long utilisation of the 20-year-old Nebraskan’s forehead eventually sold to SnoreStop, a company specialising in snoring remedies, for a respectable $37,375 (£18,700).

As well as earning Fischer a tidy sum in his current account, the stunt garnered a great deal of publicity for both the successful bidder and Fischer himself whose story and subsequent entrepreneurial endeavours can be seen on his website HumanAdSpace.com. Many people have since jumped on this bandwagon with various body parts having been auctioned for advertising purposes including breasts and penises.

For Sale: Virginity, Never Been Used
eBay is no stranger to criticism regarding its apathetic approach to policing its auctions. However, when it comes to mankind’s oldest mercantile endeavour, selling sex – or, more precisely in this controversial case, selling one’s virginity – eBay’s administrators are keen to be seen acting swiftly.

In 2004, Rosie Reid, an 18-year-old student struggling with credit cards and the financial burden of a British university education, took the decision to sell her virginity on eBay . The young social policy student’s auction received a huge amount of press attention and caused a furore in some sections of the media. Yet although Reid’s auction spurred some debate concerning the rising costs of education in the UK and the plight of British students, the tabloid press were much more interested in sordid details. eBay swiftly pulled the ad but Reid went ahead with her auction on a private website. According to the depressingly squalid story subsequently reported in a British Sunday tabloid, the successful bidder was a 44-year-old divorced father of two who paid £8,400 ($16,800).

For Sale: One Wife, Looking For Quick Sale
Another British tabloid favourite is the recent story of alleged cuckold, Paul Osborn, who, in a fit of anger, ‘eBayed’ his wife. The advert, complete with unflattering picture of said spouse indulging in some nasal-excavation along with her mobile phone number, described her as a “cheating, lying, adulterous slag of a wife.”

Despite the inauspicious description bids reached upwards of £500,000 ($999,000) before Osborn removed the advert. He was later cautioned by the police for “sending an offensive, indecent, obscene and menacing message” on the web.

For Sale: 22 x Venetians, Genuine Articles
A group of young residents of Venice, Italy auctioned themselves recently in a bid to raise awareness of the fate of their world-famous, water-filled city. Their protest concerned the monopolisation of their home by tourism-led investors and developers that is threatening local culture and driving up house prices by turning Venice into a city dominated by hotels, B&Bs and tourists.

The 22 infuriated Venetians advertised themselves as: “Born and bred Venetians, excellent pedigree, last in stock: movie extras, fancy-dress parties, high-toned decoration. Going fast!”

All the examples above have shown the financial, corporate and media interest that an intriguing online auctions can generate. Such media hype is highly valuable and beneficial publicity – indeed, some of the examples above have been rumoured to be just that: clever PR stunts engineered by eBay. The bottom-line is that whether the item for sale is controversial, distasteful or politically-loaded; whatever the reason that compels the seller; and despite the financial or personal gain, there is only one party that benefits in all aspects every time – and that is eBay.